Belonging: The Inner Work

By Sharon Thomas

Do you consider yourself lucky where you’re now living?  Or has it been one or more other locations you have dwelled over the years where you felt a truer affinity, instead?  For me, I’m recently finding myself reminiscing. The sentient meditation community I lived in before now was filled with harmonious friends. The state where I helped open an Ayurvedic clinic was a deeply fulfilling place for me.  I’ll never forget my time in the Philippines habituating among such heartfelt people of the culture.

With my daughter grown, I’ve found myself contemplating where I fit in the community I am now. Until recently I’ve been encompassed by working and raising my daughter. Slowing down from the spin of past years I find my thoughts and feelings turning to desiring a familiar sense of something I’d not felt I had missed so noticeably before. What I find missing is a certain sense of ‘belonging’. Have you sometimes felt this way?

Recently in a conversation with my sister, we began to compare notes and realized we were both feeling a bit of this way in our lives right now. Although full of majestic beauty, I’ve lived in a somewhat more conventionally thinking community than has been my comfort zone. Although gorgeous, my sister has lived in a rather isolated location in Hawaii which is rich with beauty yet has not necessarily left her feeling the most welcomed, she shared.

What this has propelled us to recognize are the deeper shadow places in us that may have been at the basis of our judgements, preventing us from allowing ourselves to feel that we do ‘belong’, just where we are. For me, I began to uncover places that felt I was being less accepted; similar to how it felt as a child being around my aloof big brother, for instance.  Or when things didn’t seem to flow my sister and I saw as a family pattern that we tended to ‘go our own way’ rather than reach out and find a mutual accord with each other. Underneath it all, we began to identify a pattern of perceived ‘not belonging’ at a foundational level from our childhood.  We recognized that what we’ve been feeling lately might really have more to do with deeper unconscious programs within us from impressions of our roots.

We’ve been experimenting with an approach to address and heal these shadow places from childhood. We’ve begun a process to come to terms with the limiting beliefs of our beginnings through meeting on the phone to address, process and heal. We gather together regularly, delving deeply into our individual shadow perceptions of our immediate family influences. We’re discovering our consciousness is shifting on the ‘inside’ and beginning to impact the perceptions of our outside worlds. Now, with the inner work, where we each live is starting to appear much more welcoming, allowing a renewed sense of our belonging.  Colorado — USA

When Things Seem to Get in the Way

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By Sharon Thomas

For the longest time my life felt like running on air, living in the sweet moments of grace, feeling supported by nature at nearly every turn and being in the flow. It was like living a little bit of heaven on Earth, really. I had been listening to ‘my call’ for decades and the result, amazing blessings that just kept coming.

Out of the blue, I had my auto accident, having been hit while sitting still at a traffic light.  A while after I began to feel a lot of old demons begin to resurface. The demons were my vulnerabilities; the parts of me that were unsure, timid, prone to give away my power and to not believe in myself; many of which I’d faced long ago, so I thought. It was as though I could feel my vibration spiraling down, down, down; like falling, falling, falling and not feeling I had any control over what was happening.  I didn’t like it!

And because of that I found myself feeling like I was doomed. For quite some time I felt trapped by comparing myself to the ‘me before’ and the ‘me after the accident’. I was miserable.  It took a healer friend of mine to set me straight. She told me, “Sharon, the ‘you’ before the accident is not the ‘you’ now”.  It hit me like a brick. She was right.  I’d been living in the past. I was being called to make an adjustment and one that I wouldn’t have made on my own, had there not been a divine intervention, like the accident, I’m certain.

I realized I’d been distracted with a life that had seemed so charmed and filled with blessings. Unless I got a big ‘kick in the pants’ I would have never made the needed changes that the Universe knew I needed to make in order to continue unfolding to even greater levels on my path. The change was with what was underneath and deep in the caverns of my shadow self.  I was being asked to do some clean up, with the promise of allowing more clarity to shine on my purpose.

Have you, too, found yourself faced with your shadows, sometimes at the most inopportune time?

Since that day I picked myself up and committed to face my demons one by one in the course of my ‘now’.  As they surface I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable and honest with myself and to face the places in me that I thought I’d worked on and moved past. Clearly, the places that surface and are still there simply show there’s more to transform on my, less of a destination, and more of a journey.

Now when it feels like things seem to get in the way of what I’d labeled happiness and flow, I know the more I’m a witness, embrace and shine light of vulnerability upon them, the more I’m making a clearing to living my authentic self and I realize that is where true happiness and purpose really lies.  Colorado — USA


Completely changing the topic, What’s with the Blue Hair??

Being a Baby Boomer and having given birth for the only time in my early 40’s, it put me into the quizzical world of raising a Millennial.

With that said, I’ve had my share of head scratching in wonder as I’ve navigated unknown territory, in a youth world that included, but wasn’t limited to, experiencing what I would describe as the somewhat ‘interesting’ phenomenon; especially that of the dyeing of the hair ‘Blue’!

While plenty of my child’s friends did partake, my child didn’t, yet I’m sure if she had it would certainly have been Ariel ‘red’, as that was her absolute favorite Disney passion!

That is not to disregard the other vibrant colors that are also commonly seen on the top of heads in this youth culture (and notably all age ranges, to be fair) but for reasons I can’t even explain, it’s the BLUE that has me the most introspective.

Given, in my own period of youth, in the 60’s and 70’s, I can remember the parents being equally in the dark about the behaviors of the subculture of the time…. namely Hippies.

Maybe some here can recall …It was a time when there was clear defiance of parental authority and college officials. When the common denominator was growing long hair, wearing bell bottom jeans and tie dyed T-shirts, living in communes, using mind altering drugs, relishing in hard rock music and engaging in casual sex.

In certain ways is there really a difference between our youthful defiance of yesteryear and that of the attempt of the youth of today to stand apart??

Think of it…. In the mass of humanity… and suddenly out of the crowd stands a crop of hair that is vibrant, outstanding, unmistakable, undeniable and TRUE as TRUE, the color BLUE!… (or green, red, orange, purple!)

I wonder, now where does that kind of choosing stem from? In the days of ‘old’, blue hair was considered more of a mistake. It was an overkill attempt to create a nice silver out of a dirty stale yellow due to over dyeing. But today, it is done in conscious attempt…in other words, on purpose!

So I simply had to know the why of this behavior, and here is what I’ve found out…

It seems to be motivated by, but in no way limited to the following:

  1. To stand out, demonstrate independence, take a risk, be rebellious
  2. Fitting in with a preferred style of expression and allowing a sense of acceptance from others in the same or similar subculture
  3. To make one feel like an individual
  4. As an easy conversation starter
  5. To overcome anxiety about being judged; looking at the ‘vibrant’ hair distracts from being looked at directly
  6. As a creative outlet; being artistic
  7. Choosing an outstanding appearance on the outside, as an expression to replace that which can’t be made with verbal expression outwardly

Now, WOW! Maybe all that is more than I wanted to know. But in my heart of hearts my burning desire to find out, just got the best of me!

It really all comes down to common scientific findings that rebellion and individuality are part of the developmental process in youth.

So there really isn’t much I can say, as I was a youth once too!

Looking now from the other side, like that of the parents of my day, gives it just a bit of a different twist. With that, I send the message into the ethers “Sorry if any of my behavior freaked you out, Mom and Dad!”  🙂

In my day, it may have been LONG HAIR when today it seems to be BLUE HAIR!


Thanks for reading my blog and sticking with me on this passion of ‘having to know’! 🙂

Tell me, what is your experience with the current fashion trend of vibrantly colored hair?

What generation do you identify with (Boomer, GenX, Other)? Do you color your hair vibrantly and if so, what color and what is your motivation?

If you or someone you know partakes, describe the effect you’ve noticed it has. 

Do you think this trend is here to stay?

Can you envision a “next trend” of sorts coming and if so, what is your prediction?



Until the next time,

xo Sharon

Do You Think You Might Have Qualities of Being an Empath?

Have you ever even thought of it? For me, I realized at a very young age that I could feel what others were feeling. I could feel even the feelings of a room full of people, all at once, I began to notice. There are variations to this depending on the person, of course.

Medical Gifted Empath

Back then it was really confusing and often overwhelming to me because it felt a lot like what I was feeling somehow all belonged to me. That was before I realized most of it just wasn’t my stuff. After a while, I began to get it into perspective and now I use my ability to help others with the gift that I have as a Medical Gifted Empath.

Now that’s a type of Empath that’s a bit more layered with a few more abilities than being a simple Empath so as not to be confounding. I’ll write more about being a Medical Gifted Empath in another blog.

For now, though, I just wanted to say I think many people have a refined sensitivity but they might not be able to identify it as being empathic.

Sometimes I wonder if some of the reason certain people you might know get aggravated and start to feel out of control and overwhelmed is because they possess a bit of ability to feel the emotional, mental or physical state of another person.

They might not even realize it, let alone know how to make sense of it. But in any case, it could be some of the explanation for behaviors like that, who knows?

Qualities of an Empath

These are a few qualities of an Empath, being highly sensitive and feeling. In fact, new research is suggesting that 1 to 2 percent of the population might have this ability. Another term that is floating around and is somewhat becoming associated with empaths is that of being an HSP. This means a Highly Sensitive Person. This is another trait I personally identify with. How about you? Do you think you are highly sensitive?

Dr. Elaine Aron, PhD clinical psychologist, has put a simple test online. I thought it might be insightful to take it and see how close I came to scoring as a Highly Sensitive Person.

According to her test, I passed, and it was on the high end! Certainly, this won’t be the case for many though. I just looked it up online, ‘highly sensitive person test’ and it appeared as the first hit. Try it yourself if it interests you too.

There can be a lot more to the topic of being an Empath. But, for now, I just wanted to bring it up and invite you to see if you resonate with it or not.

Thanks for reading my blog on a few traits of being an Empath. I plan to write more detail about the topic over time.

For now, let’s get the conversation started….

  • Describe a time you thought you experienced a trait of empathic ability.
  • Are you open to others being able to tune in to people and their feelings even if you might not be able to do it?
  • If you took the test on being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), how did you score? Where you surprised?
  • Do you know of anyone who fits the description of being an Empath? What qualities do you observe in them?

I’d love you to leave a comment or two, it would be great to hear from you!


Until the next time,
xo Sharon

Skeletons Come to Light

By Sharon Thomas

Family can be a wonderful support and anchor to us in life.  When thinking of our upbringing though, sometimes old skeletons can resurface causing discomfort and misunderstandings. Have you had that experience in your family of origin at times?

Having three siblings spread out over the country, it can sometimes be eons before getting to visit face to face. I remember years ago traveling to my home state to share in the ceremony of placing our mother’s ashes to rest. It had been ages since seeing my older sister who was visiting from yet another state.  It was a true reunion! Yet there was an awkward episode that ensued. She insisted that I apologize for an incident that happened between us at least 40 years before. I reasoned what I did was as a reaction to her action. We left unresolved because at the time we didn’t know the tools to help us.

The Episode: In our early 20’s we had both been promised by our dad that we could use his spare car.  As it happened our events were scheduled for the very same day. My plan was to make a visit to the state park. Her husband was to drive the car to his work. Confronted, our dad said we would have to work it out ourselves. When asked, my sister didn’t seem interested to discuss it further leading me to conclude she had no attachment either way. When I went to get into his car that next day it was gone.

My sister had decided she was going to take my dad’s car but chose not to tell me of her plans.  Early that morning she had driven her husband to pick up the car and he drove it to his work.  I was stunned and felt rather mislead. In frustration, I felt like I had had enough and I took a stand.  My boyfriend drove me to my brother-in-law’s work. I located the car and proceeded to drive it to the state park. Next thing, she confronted me for taking the car.

Insightful. We grow up, get educated, become employed, get married, have children, function in life as normal adults. Yet sometimes when we get around family, triggers can begin to spark with the least bit of warning. I really don’t think either one of us expected there was still a charge for us like that. Fortunately, we’ve come upon a healthier way.

Today, through my sister’s discovery of it as a guide, we’ve begun to use the nonviolent communication model developed by Marshall Rosenberg. It’s based on the notion that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and only resort to violence or harmful behavior when they don’t recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. Now as we use this tool instead, we’re moving from skeletons to synchrony, addressing and deeply healing our old family wounds as they resurface.  Colorado — USA