Belonging: The Inner Work

By Sharon Thomas

Do you consider yourself lucky where you’re now living?  Or has it been one or more other locations you have dwelled over the years where you felt a truer affinity, instead?  For me, I’m recently finding myself reminiscing. The sentient meditation community I lived in before now was filled with harmonious friends. The state where I helped open an Ayurvedic clinic was a deeply fulfilling place for me.  I’ll never forget my time in the Philippines habituating among such heartfelt people of the culture.

With my daughter grown, I’ve found myself contemplating where I fit in the community I am now. Until recently I’ve been encompassed by working and raising my daughter. Slowing down from the spin of past years I find my thoughts and feelings turning to desiring a familiar sense of something I’d not felt I had missed so noticeably before. What I find missing is a certain sense of ‘belonging’. Have you sometimes felt this way?

Recently in a conversation with my sister, we began to compare notes and realized we were both feeling a bit of this way in our lives right now. Although full of majestic beauty, I’ve lived in a somewhat more conventionally thinking community than has been my comfort zone. Although gorgeous, my sister has lived in a rather isolated location in Hawaii which is rich with beauty yet has not necessarily left her feeling the most welcomed, she shared.

What this has propelled us to recognize are the deeper shadow places in us that may have been at the basis of our judgements, preventing us from allowing ourselves to feel that we do ‘belong’, just where we are. For me, I began to uncover places that felt I was being less accepted; similar to how it felt as a child being around my aloof big brother, for instance.  Or when things didn’t seem to flow my sister and I saw as a family pattern that we tended to ‘go our own way’ rather than reach out and find a mutual accord with each other. Underneath it all, we began to identify a pattern of perceived ‘not belonging’ at a foundational level from our childhood.  We recognized that what we’ve been feeling lately might really have more to do with deeper unconscious programs within us from impressions of our roots.

We’ve been experimenting with an approach to address and heal these shadow places from childhood. We’ve begun a process to come to terms with the limiting beliefs of our beginnings through meeting on the phone to address, process and heal. We gather together regularly, delving deeply into our individual shadow perceptions of our immediate family influences. We’re discovering our consciousness is shifting on the ‘inside’ and beginning to impact the perceptions of our outside worlds. Now, with the inner work, where we each live is starting to appear much more welcoming, allowing a renewed sense of our belonging.  Colorado — USA

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